Shine Theory

Back in 2015, I was spending Thanksgiving weekend with some friends in San Francisco.  One afternoon as we were hanging out in a public park, catching up and enjoying the present moment, one of my newly met friends suddenly excused herself and walked over to a woman a few groups away.  I couldn’t hear what was said, but the woman she approached lit up with a beautiful smile and warmth in her eyes.  They exchanged a few more short words before my friend returned to our circle.

I asked my friend what she said, and she told me that she really liked that woman’s style and was compelled her to go tell her so.  She then went on to explain it as “Shine Theory”: when you notice something positive about someone, you don’t keep that thought or feeling to yourself, but share it with that person.  In that way, you are acknowledging their shine and adding yours to it.  In that moment, it was easy to see why it was such a simple yet powerful social practice.

Most everyone likes to be acknowledged and to be seen for who they are, or for the unique styles, features, traits, choices, and characteristics that make them who they are.  When we actively acknowledge these things in others, we build them up–we encourage and support them to shine.  I now take every opportunity to utilize Shine Theory and I am grateful that each time a person around me shines just a little brighter, the world becomes a warmer place.